role reversal

Hypocrisy.

That has been the word that comes to mind lately when I think of the church as a whole.

I had a discussion with a friend a few days ago. She has a strong heart for social justice and equality; she describes herself as having "a fire inside." Shortly after coming to Baylor her freshman year, she struggled immensely with her faith. She knew what was right, but could not reconcile her beliefs with the words and actions of so many professed believers at Baylor. Hypocrites. That's the word she used to describe the people around her. Now, she still adheres to the Christian faith and lives out her convictions, but no longer attends church. She is too dissatisfied with the institution.

My boyfriend has had a similar experience. He grew up in church, but after a while, grew to resent the people who so openly condemned others while they themselves were so flawed. He too described them as hypocrites. He comes to church with me occasionally on Sundays, but tells me that the worship is the only thing that keeps him coming. Music is his passion and his connection to God and one of the few things he sees church good for providing.

I too see the hypocrites around me, but I can't abandon the church. I know too little on my own and cannot be my own support. I need the church, even if it has gone astray in many ways. The hypocrites bother me to no end, but I cannot abandon them either. What has happened in their hearts to make them so blind? Is it the same thing that happens in my heart when I am blinded? If I turn my back on the church while it is struggling, it is just as bad the church turning its back on me while I am struggling. I am a hypocrite too, so the church and I must support each other. If I call out the church without holding myself accountable as well, I am not better than the thing I am condemning.

Weber comes to mind and his theories on bureaucracy. The church has inevitably become bureaucratized and according to Weber, this was inevitable. Unfortunately, bureaucracies are difficult to change once they are set and easily corrupted by a single leader. In a social world paper, I argued that reaffirmed individual convictions are the only ways to change a corrupt bureaucracy. That's why I have to stay a part of the thing that causes so many problems. I stay because I love it and it has loved me. I see its history and its potential. It needs the help of those who see its cracks and flaws because those who are blind to them cannot see to patch them up. If the only ones with sight abandon a crumbling building, then eventually it will just fall and crush all of those who were left behind. Individuals must help the church. Role reversal.