I can't help it. I like facts. I like knowing right from wrong and cannot deal with the overwhelmingly frustrating feeling that accompanies knowing that there are so few times that there is black and right truth, black and white right and wrong.

I know that I am SO flawed, SO confused, SO incapable of making huge decisions on my own, but I have the WORST spirit of discernment. As a result, ethical issues drive me insane. It goes something like this:

"God, I love these people who are doing things that I always thought were wrong. They say that they love you just as much as I do, but they are able to find a justification for what they are doing. Well God, you make it really hard for me to hear you, which I know is probably my fault in some way because this means that I'm probably not listening in the right way, but I need to know what to think about this issue now! I am having to talk to this person now! God, you say that you will be there for me when I need you, but you are making me really emotionally and ethically unstable right now. What should I think? Who is right? What is right? Which interpretation is right? How do I know that I'm not being led astray?"

You know what I just realized.....other people are going through the same thing. When I think that I finally have something right and try to share that with other people, they may have the same reaction that I do: "How do they know what is right? Why is what I'm doing wrong? I didn't think it was wrong... Why do they think that they are better in tune with what God wants? God sure hasn't shown me that this is wrong in any other way!"

Everyone is getting by doing the best that they can.. No one intentionally chooses the "wrong side" of an ethical issue. No one intentionally acts immorally. Maybe it takes a while, but we're the only ones who can finally rectify our own mistakes through God.

Huh.

I have been judgmental...